SUNSET

Here I sit; it is 3:16 in the afternoon and I am on the porch swing gazing west. It seems that I am really good at gazing, so when the opportunity arises, I continue the practice. I am alone, well Freda is with me, and she is good at gazing also, but she doesn’t like a good martini like I do, so she just lays in the sun gazing. Who knows what a dog thinks, but I think it would be fun to know sometime. Maybe I’ll ask her, but not now, she looks very content. But I digress, as I am prone to do.

Gazing into the coming sunset is something that seems to occupy my time lately; in fact more as each day passes. I enjoy the sunrise each day, because they signify that a new day is here and there is promise of great things to come. Everything seems to come to life when the sun just starts its accent over Bob’s hay ground, and then there is life everywhere when the great ball finally clears the top bale in his stack. It doesn’t last long, sunrise, it is here for such a short time that you never get to really marvel at what it signifies; a new beginning. But sunset takes awhile, and maybe that is why they are so spectacular here at the farm. Maybe they are spectacular in other places like at the ocean or in the mountains, but it is not like here at the farm. Could be just because this is where I am when it happens and I can be part of it. I don’t crave what I don’t have, but I try and be content with what I do have.

For some, sunset is just the beginning of the evening when they come to life and celebrate whatever needs celebrating that particular evening. For me, it is the end of the day of work, play, or whatever we do during the daylight hours. It is during the daylight that we seem to be the most productive and garner the most excitement out of our lives. It is when we are at our peak performance whether it is working in the garden, mowing the yard, tending the flowers or riding the tractor in the fields we have been given the responsibility to be stewards of. We start the day refreshed and full of new energy and as the day wears on, the energy wanes and the level of our stamina gets less and we slow down. Like now, it is about ¾ through the day and I am sitting here gazing, trying to find the energy or gumption to do what needs to be done and realizing that I don’t really care if I do anything but what I am doing. All of the things that I thought that needed to be done and taken care of when the day started, all of a sudden don’t seem like such a big deal. They will still be there tomorrow, and tomorrow is pretty darn important, as I sit here gazing. And so I prepare for the sunset, and I do prepare; relaxation is starting to take over and a good place to sit for the rest of the day takes on a renewed importance. It won’t be long now and the sun will rapidly begin the decent towards Vera’s pasture and as it does, it gets bigger the closer to earth it comes. And it turns red, sometimes a light shade of red and others a vibrant shade that just takes your breath away. I hope that clouds don’t get in the way to shade or obscure the view. I want it all. I want to see the pheasant take flight as it leaves the food plot and heads toward its’ roost spot. It flies across the sun and in so doing, turns black against the red background. Or to spot a deer as it feeds its’ way to where ever deer go and bed down for the night. It also crosses the path of the descending sun and by so doing is silhouetted, I guess so I can see it better. It is fun to gaze because you never know what you will see. But I always see something.

I see people who used to share their lives with me. Family and friends. I recall dogs that I have had the pleasure of sharing my life with and smile at the good times we shared. I have had a dog in my life for all of it, even as a very small kid. My grandparents each had a dog and it was mine when I was with them. Then when I was 8 years old, I got my own and have not been without one to this day. I have had good ones and a couple of bad ones, but they all shared a part of me until they too, saw the sunset.

As I sit and gaze, I also take to thinking about the day. It never seems long enough. The sunrise, while it seems a long time ago, was actually just a short time back. I have accomplished a lot, yet there is more to do. Time travels fast, faster as each day passes. It seems that what was didn’t take too long to happen; yet it was ¾ of the day ago. There is ¼ of the day left and the sun is starting to make its’ final journey of the day. It has been doing it everyday for a long time and will probably be doing it for a long time to come. (Unless the Mayans are correct). I gaze with a head and heart full of memories. I look back and see where I have been. I smile at the fond memories and regret some of the things that I have done, or have not done. I now look at what is left of the day. A few hours are left until sunset- that is predictable; it is the same on this day every year. I know the sun will go where it always goes and it will do so with style. It has a grace about it that only it can possess. It is the end of the day, and the start of the night. It will linger even after I can no longer see it with a glow that is like an encore; and then it is gone.

So the day that started what seems like a long time ago is over. It was not that long actually, it just seems that way. It was really quite short. What is left of the day seems to be going too fast. It appears to be in a hurry and seems to be saying, “I have done all I can today; I gave you every opportunity to be a part of it. My job is now done, day is done.”  I have to ask myself, what did I do with the time that has passed? What will I do with the time that is left before the sunset? I have so much to do and there is so little time of daylight left, and yet I know the sunset will happen regardless of what I do. And each day the sunset comes a little earlier, and the daylight becomes a little less.

Pull up and sit here beside me and we can watch the sunset together. It is more fun when it can be shared. After all, there is more time since the sunrise than there is before the sunset. Let’s gaze at it together, that which is left.

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